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A recent news item revealed that mums looking to go back to work have been told to leave out maternity leave from their CVs to give them a better chance of getting a job. Continue reading “Would you pretend to be childless for a job?”
Over the last century it’s thought that over 80,000 chemicals have been introduced into our daily lives. They are toxic and they are everywhere… in the atmosphere, in our cleaning products, in food and drink, cans and bottles, in our toiletries, furniture, toys, clothes, house paint, drinking water and even in our computers. We actually even make toxins ourselves through our own stress. Continue reading “How to live a “cleaner” family life”
And have you agreed the boundaries?
One in four grandparents are looking after their grandchildren on at least a part-time basis. They have become a generation of carers. With the cost of child care, the lack of places, and if you have a parent who’s retired, willing and available to step up to the task, it’s easy to jump in and accept their offer to “help out” without thinking the situation through completely. Continue reading “Are your parents up to the job of carer?”
Get your child to pick up a book today.
International Children’s Book Day (today, 2 April) celebrates the wonder of children’s books everywhere. The day is designed to inspire children to pick up a book and get reading. We desperately need that inspiration these days, as children are far more inclined to pick up an iPad or iPhone and start playing Crossy Road or Flappy Bird than pick up a book and start reading.
April the 2nd was chosen to mark this day for young literature lovers, because it’s Hans Christian Andersen’s birthday. Andersen was the author of many famous children’s stories, fairy tales and poetry, like “The Little Mermaid”, “The Tinderbox”, “The Ugly Duckling”, “The Snow Queen”, “The Nightingale”, “The Emperor’s New Clothes” and many more. His stories have inspired plays, ballets, and both live-action and animated films.
Organised by the International Board on Books for Young People (or IBBY), the aim of International Children’s Book Day is to promote books and reading to young people and this is becoming increasingly important.
Not only are children losing interest in books, but so are adults, and the book industry is in a very difficult place. Much like the media, everything is going online; bookstores are under threat, with chains such as Borders already falling victim. Books are no longer treasured like they were, and they seem to have become largely disposable items.
It was sad to see recent news that a library in East Bay, Alameda in the USA had been criticised for putting 100,000 books into the trash. Not even the recycling either, but the regular trash!
While angry residents showed up at a special meeting to express their outrage, the Alameda County library director said they just wanted newer, updated books.
She said about 172,000 books had been discarded over the past two years, due to the need for more shelf space after spending about $3 million on new books.
While some of these books may have been extremely tatty, most would have been gratefully received at local schools, child care centres, preschools, infant schools, family day care centres, playgroups and crèches.
So let’s put a little more thought back into books this month. Give gadgets and TV the heave-ho for 30 minutes a day. Encourage children to pick up a book for this time instead. Do this every day for the whole of April if you can.
Many kids aren’t natural bookworms, but once they find a book they enjoy and get into the habit of reading, they start to really enjoy it. Sometimes it just takes a little encouragement.
Set up a household competition with your kids – give them an incentive to get reading. If they’re too little to read themselves, read to them or encourage them to look at the pictures and flick through the pages for half an hour a day.
If you have any old children’s books you don’t want, that have been grown out of or that you simply don’t have space for, don’t put them in the bin! There will be a charitable organisation, child care centre, preschool, playgroup or crèche near you that would love to have them.
Published for CareforKids.com.au on April 2 2015. http://www.careforkids.com.au/newsletter/2015/april/1/reading.html
Originally written for CareforKids.com.au: http://www.careforkids.com.au/newsletter/2015/february/11/perspective.html
According to a recently publicised survey in the UK, a fifth of working parents are considering reducing their hours or giving up their job altogether because of child care costs. This is just as pertinent to Australians as it is to UK parents, as child care costs reach unachievable levels on both sides of the world and parents are being forced to make difficult decisions.
The UK survey of 1,000 parents of children aged up to 16 also found that many were planning to cut back on essentials this year, because of the financial strain of child care. And one in five said they are thinking about reducing their working hours or quitting their job.
In our own survey last year, we revealed that of the mums who had not returned to work, a fifth said this was because it simply wasn’t financially viable to do so.
Removing parents’ choice as to whether or not they continue to work after having children is not the answer for families or for the economy.
This lack of choice is due to the following key factors:
both parents so that they may share the child care load.
Parents of the youngest children are most under pressure and find it almost impossible to keep up with their current work conditions and pay levels vs. child care costs.
This leads to the inescapable question for many parents: is their job worth the cost of child care? Usually this still falls on the working mum’s door, as it’s still more likely that the father has the better paid job and better career prospects. So women are still having to make the choice between career and children. This will inevitably have a trickle down effect to the Australian birth rate, because couples simply won’t be able to afford to have children.
Published for CareforKids.com.au on 11.2.15 – http://www.careforkids.com.au/newsletter/2015/february/11/perspective.html
Parents are increasingly coming under fire for parenting styles.
Hands up who sometimes feels they’re not quite up to the mark on the parenting front? Hands up who has actually been told that by a family member, colleague, friend or even by someone at the school gate who is essentially a total stranger?
It would be interesting to be able to see how many of you haven’t put up your hands. I imagine it’s very few. Much like the public view that every pregnant woman’s bump is open to touching and stroking by total strangers, there seems to be a growing trend that allows people to think they can criticise parents on the job they’re doing, no matter whether they know them or not.
I have indeed in the past been told, even by my own dear father, after a few wines at Sunday lunch, that I’m doing “a crap job” at bringing up my daughter. This was sparked by her unwillingness to eat her peas and my unwillingness to make her. Personally I prefer to save my energy and pick my battles. But what gives my Dad the right to think he can say that? Presumably his own parenting perfection…ahem.
Parents these days are constantly being picked up on aspects of parenting, and it’s not just by their parents either. It’s apparently by anyone and everyone. Even the talented, beautiful Australian actress and mum, Cate Blanchett, who by the way doesn’t employ a nanny or cook apparently, says she feels criticised for her parenting by other mums! This is not isolated. Our 2014 Annual Childcare and Workforce Participation Survey revealed that 57 per cent of mums had felt stigmatised as a bad parent (for either working or staying at home) by other mums. So what happened to the sisterhood?
Whether it’s for their children’s eating habits, gaming, noisiness, dress sense, vocabulary, table manners, bedtime, supermarket etiquette, attitude, it’s all fodder for other people’s comments. And however you parent, it’s never right or good enough for some people.
Personally I like to hide behind the thought that these dissenters are generally bored, unhappy, unfulfilled or just generally not very nice.
A recent article by Queensland University’s John Pickering, a self-confessed non-parent, highlighted the “growing and seemingly widespread view that parents these days aren’t doing a good job – that in fact they’re doing a “crap” job”. So it’s not just me, then!
He goes on to say that parents are being told they “are out of touch and too soft. They give in to their kids too easily. They’re over-involved helicopter parents, or under-involved don’t care parents. Or they could be bulldozer or lawn-mower parents (the ones who smooth the way for their child’s transition through life and make life difficult for everyone else in the process).”
As Pickering points out, this criticism is simply the “kids these days rhetoric, but applied to parents”. And of course the world is very different to how it was “in their day”. Particularly when it comes to working families.
When I grew up, working mums were in the minority. I can barely recall any of my friend’s mums working full time. Nowadays it’s almost the reverse. It’s not just due to a need or desire to be career woman either; it’s also a matter of economics.
In our parents’ day, you could very easily afford to buy your own house and pay a mortgage on one average salary. Today that is almost impossible. And this surely has to affect our way of parenting. We’ve had to adapt. But more to the point, what are we consciously doing that’s different out of choice as opposed to necessity?
Pickering’s article gives an overview of a 2012 study surveyed thousands of English adolescents in 1986 and again in 2006 to determine the extent that parent-child relationships had changed over 20 years:
The study showed that parental monitoring of youth behaviour and parent-child quality time increased from 1986 to 2006. Parents in 2006 also expected more from their children than they did in 1986, including the expectation of being polite.
The authors concluded that their study failed to provide any evidence that the quality of parent-child relationships had declined over time, and that there is little evidence of any decline in parenting across the target population.
This finding corroborates earlier studies, which analysed parenting patterns across generations and found that both mothers and fathers tended to spend greater amounts of time in child care-related activities in the 1990s than they did in the 1960s.
The major trend, says Pickering, is the appetite for evidence that informs decisions about parenting. Parents want evidence that what they are doing is effective.
“They invest time to research whether vaccines work; to find evidence that “breast is best”; evidence that car seat A is superior to car seat B; evidence that certain toys are developmentally appropriate; evidence that the discipline strategies they use are effective.”
Pickering believes that the physical, emotional, financial and intellectual resources that parents are now investing in raising their kids have never been greater.
We don’t get everything right. And none of us is perfect.
Regardless of what we’re doing differently, the vast majority of parents are simply doing the best they can in the only way they know, and we should stop criticising and start to be more supportive.
After all, two of the key things a parent can teach their child are compassion, and self-control.
To view James Pickering’s article in full, click here.
Originally published on Feb 18 2015 for CareforKids.com.au: http://www.careforkids.com.au/newsletter/2015/february/18/parenting.html
If you’re really struggling to find a permanent babysitter or nanny, but have around US$1900, then Japanese mobile phone company, SoftBank, could have the answer. The company will start selling its multi-tasking Robot helper and friend, Pepper, in February 2015. So get saving! Continue reading “Pepper the robot babysitter”
We know him as a chef and TV personality, but here Manu Feildel tells CareforKids.com.au what he’s like as a regular dad to son, Jonti,10.MF: Obviously I don’t see myself as a famous dad, just a dad to Jonti. As he’s getting older though, he’s noticing more and more that I get recognised when we’re out. He’s very good about it, but it can be frustrating when you just want some father and son time.
C4K: You can control a kitchen full of chefs and staff – could you control a room full of children?
MF: No way. Most of the chefs don’t cry if I shout at them, but I’m pretty sure if I shouted at a room full of kids they would all be in tears… closely followed by me.
C4K: How did you spend Fathers’ Day this year?
MF: We didn’t do anything special really, Sunday is our day anyway, so we just made sure we had some quality time together as usual.
C4K: What’s your ideal day with Jonti?
MF: A trip to the cinema (he’ll watch the movie while I have a snooze!), brunch somewhere, a kick around the park, depending on the weather maybe a trip to the beach and a swim and then dinner at home.
C4K: How would you rate yourself as a dad?
MF: I hope I’m not too bad; you’d have to ask Jonti for my score out of 10 though!
C4K: What are your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to parenting?
MF: I think I am firm and fair. I love to have fun and a laugh with Jonti, but he realises I’m the one in charge and when it’s time for discipline 9 time out of 10 he listens first time.
C4K: What are your hopes for Jonti?
MF: That he is happy and healthy and follows his dreams.
C4K: If he came home one day and announced he was going to join the circus, like you did, what would your reaction be?
MF: I’d be happy for him, as I said I’d love him to follow his dreams and I hope that I would support him in whatever these dreams may be.
C4K: Top 3 things you couldn’t do without as a parent?
MF: Bribes! After school club and a sense of humour!
Written by Sophie Cross for CareforKids.com.au Published 24/9/14. http://www.careforkids.com.au/newsletter/2014/september/24/interview.html
But What is Best for Working Parents?
The Productivity Commission’s draft report published in July looked at the issues facing many parents whose lives and working hours don’t conform to standard child care hours or “approved” child care services. It also discussed how to address the chronic shortfall of child care places in many areas and how to improve women’s workforce participation.
Two of the recommendations made were that overseas Au Pairs should be allowed to stay with one family for the full 12 month working holiday visa (opposed to the current six month maximum period with any one family) and that there should be an extension of child-based government assistance to enable greater access to home-based care services. This is in order to improve accessibility for the growing number of families with parents who work irregular or non-standard hours.
The report also argued that the government should allow approved nannies to become an eligible service, for which families can receive assistance, conditional on those nannies meeting the same National Quality Standards, care ratios and qualifications that currently apply to family day care services.
The above recommendations have been put forward to help address the huge unmet demand for child care in Australia, particularly for the under twos, together with the needs for those families with more than one pre-school aged child, and those with special circumstances, who are working shifts or unsociable hours or who have children with special needs.
In Australia, there are around 3.8 million children under 13 years old, living in over 2 million families. Around half of these children use some form of non-parental care in either the formal or informal sectors or both. And demand is growing as the population and workforce increases.
The Productivity Commission estimates that over 100,000 additional full-time places will be needed by 2026. And increasing long day care places and assistance for Family Day Care Services will still not meet these numbers or the needs of all parents.
Industry bodies and child care businesses of course all have their own opinions to the plausibility, viability or suitability of these recommendations and there will inevitably be some debate over the correct division of child care funding.
The Productivity Commission is suggesting that the various child care benefits, rebates and special assistance be streamlined into one means tested subsidy to make it fair and easy to navigate for parents.
Au Pairs can be a great option for families, particularly if parents buddy up and share an au pair. Only one of you needs to have the extra bedroom, but all can chip in for the cost of bed, board and pocket money. They can bring a different cultural experience for children and often a new language to learn.
And don’t be fooled into thinking that Au Pairs are inexperienced or unqualified. Many women across the world have been au pairs for years. They often have child care qualifications in their own countries and are likely to be more experienced in child care than many child care workers in formal day care centres! The only downside is that they can only stay for up to a year.
Nannies have been around for just as long, if not longer, than day care centres and child-minders. They are often seen as elitist, but the fact is that if you have more than one pre-school child they are far more viable, for average income families, not just high income earners. They often become a very valued member of the family and a good nanny is worth his or her weight in gold.
Vice-president of the Australian Nannies Association (ANA), Annemarie Sansom said that families employing a professional nanny should receive subsidies equivalent to those applied to other forms of childcare.
“When families have two or three children in childcare, the cost is comparable to that of employing a nanny. What makes employing a nanny more expensive at the moment is the lack of any subsidy,” she said.
In-home care is essentially a part time or full time nanny service, but one that is approved and subsidised by the Federal Government, due to special circumstances. It enables families with unusual work, location or care requirements to access approved child care in their own home, and is currently only available to those families that are unable to access standard child care services and/or families in unusual circumstances.
In-Home Care is particularly appropriate for families where parents work night shifts or unsociable hours, as well as those who are in remote locations and don’t have access to child care centres etc.
Recent Government initiatives and Productivity Commission recommendations have included the expansion of access and eligibility to in-home care and funding has been increased to enable more families to access the service.
To see how in-home care varies from the other forms of child care currently available to parents have a look at our child care comparison table.
There is no wrong or right form of child care. No one-size-fits-all. All families and their needs are different.
Written by Sophie Cross for CareforKids.com.au: http://www.careforkids.com.au/newsletter/2014/september/17/pc.html
My daughter has always been a great one for delay tactics. For everything. Her favourite and most used word is actually, “wait”! It really is. She uses it as a general punctuation now without even thinking.
Children learn the art of delaying very early on; around about the same time they learn to play their parents off one another and get their certificate in advanced negotiation skills.
They do it before they can even talk. And as they get older, their excuses and reasons for one more minute get more and more creative. These are some of my current favourites:
By Sophie Cross for CareforKids.com.au. Posted: http://www.careforkids.com.au/newsletter/2013/june/26/delay.html
The Word Bird 