Giving your child a ridiculous name can have serious consequences

Sticks and stones may break their bones, but weird names can break their spirit…The old rhyme about name-calling not being able to hurt a child may not be true after all. Children whose parents have given them ridiculous names are susceptible to bullying, ridicule and confidence issues. 

Naming a child is a big responsibility and not to be taken lightly by parents and family members. It’s all very well giving your child a slightly unusual name, but when a name does more than simply allowing them to stand out from the crowd, then you may be causing a lifetime of psychological issues.

We all talk about people (mainly celebrities) calling their babies “ridiculous” names. We should really take note of that particular adjective, because ridiculous doesn’t just mean silly… it means something or someone that attracts “ridicule”, and that “someone” is the poor unsuspecting and undeserving child, who will be saddled with the name for its entire life (or until it is old enough to change it by Deed Poll).

This puts another spin on the phrase “name-calling”. Stupid children’s names can lead to bullying and ridicule for the entirety of the child’s school life, not to mention afterwards, and even those children with the strongest inbuilt confidence and character can suffer at the hands of the name bullies.

Apple, Prince and Princess pale into insignificance to Moxie Crimefighter, Burger, Bronx Mowgli, Speck Wildhorse and North West, by the ever-ludicrous “Kimye”!

Many governments have, in fact, taken measures to avoid overly stupid names taking over their population, from a national security level and also to protect children from bullying and now also have a list of “pre-approved baby names” and a list of those that are banned.

This is very sensible. It means that children can never be officially called something like “Talula Does the Hula in Hawaii”, a name that was outlawed in New Zealand and Talula was actually removed from her “abusive parents’” care. Yes, knowingly setting your child up for years of torment is in fact “abuse”.

Even the Pope has weighed in on this issue and in 2011 declared war on parents naming babies after celebrities, fruit or popular sports cars! I don’t agree with much that the Pope says, but here I will agree wholeheartedly!

Aside from Talula Does the Hula, government banned names around the world include: Anus, Chow Tow (smelly head), Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (banned in Sweden, a country that also banned Metallica, IKEA, Veranda and Q); Harry Potter and Hermione (banned in Mexico); @ (banned in China) and Facebook, to name a few!

If your friends or family are talking about naming their children ridiculous names they will be saddled with for life, please urge them to put their child’s wellbeing before their own amusement!

Written and published for Wondrous Ink

Categories Articles & features

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